I ONLY EAT PIZZA.

Man, the bums in chicago are picky. Griselda and I were hanging out at the train station the other day, eating some mexican pastries and bread when a homeless man came up to us asking for some change. We shook our head, that we didn't have anything to spare. Griselda offered him some of the bread, only to be scowled at by the bum.

Bum: You fellas have anything you could spare?
Griselda: Sorry man, we got no change. You want some of this bread? It's good.
*bum cautiously peeks in the bag which griselda is holding*
Bum *scowls*: I don't want that! What is that?? Ugh...
Griselda: It's bread, it's good. Try some!
Bum: Is it pizza?

Stop. What just happened here?

*Ahem*

Is it pizza? Hey buddy, is it pizza? I'm on a pizza-only diet. This money I'm asking for is for pizza *ONLY*. I can't eat anything else. Pizza prices have gone up, and I can only eat pizza, so you have to understand that even though I may be homeless and allegedly need money for food, I can't take that weird bread, because I ONLY EAT PIZZA.

Hilarious.

3-leet (not verified) says:

reminds me of the time I needed some change for a payphone and tried to give a guy a dollar in exchange for 15 cents...took about fifteen minutes of haggling

xbeethovenx (not verified) says:

he actually rode a freight train from mississippi, knowing that chicago was, thanks to a PCP induced seizure, "PIZZA TOWN".

is that bread? is there cheese and tomato sauce on it? no? THEN F*CK OFF!

asifx (not verified) says:

did you get a good look at that bum? it may very well have been tall paul.

zirafa says:

what's with the xNamex thing? can't use your regular names?

xbeethovenx (not verified) says:

it's a popular notation in straight edge culture to write a name within Xs. not only that, but there is no login, and i can't use beethoven because it is a registered name. not that i care to login, but that's my story.

malcolmx (not verified) says:

the more appropriate term here is "street person".
and hey, you only eat pizza too, so what's the big mystery?

professorx (not verified) says:

was it this man?