Fast Food Tapas

The plan was to meet for some bubble tea. Aaron, Kaveh, and I rendezvoused at Lynnhaven Mall food court per the usual random suburban meeting spot.

BTW, that place is crazy now. Or feels crazier than I remember. The place is swarming with high schoolers walking around very slowly loudly gabbing away and pointing at each other, while rent-a-cops are milling about in large brimmed hats trying to look important. Occasionally they'll approach several kids sitting at one of the tables and mention that they are not allowed to sit there if they are not eating, drinking, or shopping. So the kids get up and join the others slowly walking in a big circle around the food court, gabbing and pointing all the way. A bizarre ritual.

The bubble tea kinda sucks at Lynnhaven mall because if you order the slushy/smoothie kind the tapioca balls freeze. I've never seen that happen at any other place - they must be trying to save money with lower quality tapioca balls. Anyway Aaron and I weren't really feeling it so we started talking about other possibilities. Share a big pile-o-waffle fries? Nuggets?? Oh so many terrible options. And then we had one of those extraordinarily rare moments of brilliance that can really only happen in Virginia Beach.

Fast Food Tapas!!!!

Ok ok ok ok I know it sounds gross. And it kinda was. And it kinda sucked. But it was also amazing. And the best idea ever.

We split up for about 10 minutes, our mission was to find two small orders of food to bring back to the group.

Aaron bought: chicken nuggets and waffle fries
Kaveh bought: sushi and bubble tea (split into 3 small cups)
I bought: bbq wings and Philippine noodles.

Ugh. Actually now that I think about it I can't believe we ate all that shit at once. Gross. But NECESSARY. You don't just come up with an idea like that and not do it, ya know?

Anyway we sat and talked about the Bead-to-Boob exchange rate (for another time) and finished up. Got kicked out by rent-a-cop since we no longer could prove we were eating, and then went in a Christian clothing store. Weird thing, that store. Shirts with Jesus written in graffiti font and semi-hip fashion accessory items. The employees are pushing the shirts, but also trying to push Jesus and talk to you about your spiritual beliefs. The little metal hook device the guy had to bring down the shirts kiiinda made him look like a shepherd. Just sayin! Weird times. Suburban adventure!

bluedini (not verified) says:

This is the epitome of the Quest for Three Bucks.

xbeethovenx (not verified) says:

hilarious and gross. that's really sad that they are kicking people out of the seating area if they aren't eating or shopping (how can you shop when you are seated?). I guess they handed out comment cards and they probably got a lot of comments like, "WE WOULD LIKE A MORE MILITANT SHOPPING EXPERIENCE, PLEASE."

Wait, shouldn't that behavior be reserved for Military Circle? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.
*audience applause*
*aaron blows a tuft of hair in exasperation*

doruk (not verified) says:

Lynnhaven used to have a dope cinnamon roll joint. That closed down but then they had a dope cookie place with cookie cups. Chocolate chip cookie bowls filled with icing. But that closed down too... about ten years ago. And remember it had TWO movie theatres INSIDE the mall?

PS The Captchas are hard.

Steve Calder (not verified) says:

FAST FOOD TAPAS!!! Rejoice fellow fast -food phreakers, cause I've been doing this for friends for years! Well, about 5 years. I live in a part of town (Nanaimo, Canada- look it up!) where every fast foot joint imaginable is less than 10 minutes away, and all the snooty restaurants are on the other side of town. My first experience with mix and matching was innocent enough: accidentally finding out that, say, McD's ketchup packs taste terrible with Wendy's fries- thin and watery. Wendy's ketchup, on the other hand, seemed thicker and more saory, making it a valued commodity on brown-bag-dinner nights. From there came the mix-and-match stage: Store A's burger, store B's onion rings, store C's lovely frozen ice-milk dessert. Now, though only on special occasions, I go whole hog and set out whole platters like a tapas bar; either a selection of burgers/fries/dips from each store on seperate plates, or - over several courses, like a cheese tasting- a multi-course experience; Fry course, chicken-sandwich course, Meat(esque) course... with your choice of the house colas, of course! Ever try a Bic Mc with a Poopsi? DO NOT.

Anyway, hope I didn't burst your bubble, but I thought you'd rather know that you're not the only truly genius food-court hackers out there. Peace.

OOF